


Draco Malfoy is my Idol!

by TheGreenCloak



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Draco has dyed his hair black it is Potter's fault, Draco has fans what the fuck, Everything is Potter's fault, Fluff, Harry has got problems but what's new, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:05:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9079759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreenCloak/pseuds/TheGreenCloak
Summary: Wherein Draco Malfoy suddenly becomes Witch Weekly's most wanted bachelor at the age of 18 because he had the stupid idea to dye his hair black. He even acquired a fanclub! What the fuck even?!Oh and somewhere along the line there is something wrong with Harry, something only Draco can fix (because why the fuck not? Merlin, being a hero is tiresome...)Just lots of crack really, hope you enjoy :)





	

Every witch and wizard in Wizarding London knew who Draco Malfoy was, but not for the reasons Draco himself expected to be known for. Right before the trails about a year ago Draco had thought that his life would turn around for the worse, but that was before one Harry Potter decided to interfere in his affairs – without even asking permission, the nerve of that man!. Of course Saint Potter believed he had some sort of life debt that he needed to fulfil towards Draco and his mother and so he testified, making sure that Draco would not have to go to Azkaban and neither did his mother – so far so good, right? – but then… Draco got the fabulous idea – please do insert loud coughing noise over her – to dye his hair black in order not to get recognized. Yeah bad idea.

A reporter from Witch Weekly managed to snatch a picture of him lying about on a chair in the sun in the gardens of Malfoy Manor – how she got there, no one knows – and all of a sudden his popularity hit the roof. The following 2 months Draco wasn’t even capable of leaving the safe walls of the manor because of the many witches – and wizards!!! – blocking his door in an attempt to get a picture with him or an autograph from his hand – some even carried bonding rings and the like to trick him into marriage. Needless to say Draco was scared shitless.

So when a letter arrived from Hogwarts with an invitation to join his former ‘friends’ - if one could call them friends – for an eighth year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry he applied immediately. Unfortunately the news of his departure got out – How even?! – and a mere 2 days before he had to leave his garden was once again flooded with wizards and witches all prepared to throw themselves at his feet if he promised not to leave. They were even holding beauty contests amongst themselves to decide who would be best to offer to the young Malfoy. Of course Draco was quite shocked – traumatised would be a better use of words, but I do not want to be accused to over exaggerating and so we’ll call it shocked but know that the sight of the mob would haunt the poor man for the rest of his life - and he felt a growing feeling of despair for he still had to leave the manor in order to go to school.

Luckily Narcissa, his mother, had never thrown away his firebolt – because who the fuck would throw away a firebolt! - and so he left through the top window of one of the towers that Malfoy Manor housed. He regarded the crying mob on the grounds with a certain feeling of dread and if we’re being honest a certain feeling of accomplishment as well because if there is one thing that his father had not achieved it was having a horde crying fans.

Either way all of this brings us to Draco’s current situation of distress: all of Platform 9¾ filled to the brim with Draco’s adoring fans – oh and a few students as well but as you can see they are less important in the story – and in the midst of them stood Patil Parvati, wearing a pink – why does it always have to be pink?! – shirt with Draco’s face printed on it, and in the quite a large format as well. Next to her stood Pansy Parkinson, obviously in a very heavy debate with Miss Parvati as she looked very pissed off and was making grand gestures in the air.

Feeling terribly uncomfortable in his new environment Draco debated leaving again for a moment, he was hiding underneath a lot of glamours against behind one of the pillars close to the wall, but then he saw one of his fans pull Pansy’s hair and decided that he had to face his fans for once and for all – because no one pulled the hair of one of his only friends, unless it was him of course, being her friend gives him the right to pull her hair, obviously - . He righted his back and walked forward, putting on the icy mask his mother had taught him to make in front of those who were beneath him, though it soon fell as the first girl recognized him and started screaming.

“IT’S DRACOOOO OMGGG.”

Great. A gigantic mob of girls and boys crowded around him, trying to touch him or pull out on his black hair strings – probably to conserve it in a locket or something, ugh gross – and though Draco tried to move forward he simply couldn’t. With a sigh he put on a small smile and softly petted the heads of a few girls, first years by the look of it, and a few guys who looked only a year or two older. They all swooned and one of them even fainted – What the fuck?!.

“Excuse me ladies and gentleman, but I do believe the train will be leaving soon and if it’s all right with you I would like to be on the train rather than being crowded next to it. Now, could someone tell me that you have not trampled my friend, Miss Pansy Parkinson?” he tried to look them all in the eye while he spoke, without seeming creepy or angry –quite a feat if you ask me.

A grumbling Pansy was pushed forward and the crowd made a small entryway to one of the carriages’ doors. Draco granted them all a smile as he passed before making a beeline for the door. Once inside he sagged against the floor, small droplets of perspiration lying against his forehead.

“I see you’ve finally managed to escape that prison of yours?” Pansy inquired, while sliding down to the floor as well and resting her head against his shoulder. Draco just chuckled before shaking her off and jumping to his feet once again. She was not offended however by being shaken off and simply smiled as he pulled her up to her feet as well.

“Better not come too close to me, Pans, wouldn’t want any of my ‘fans’ to lynch you in your sleep.” She laughed in reply.

“I can’t believe the entire wizarding population is head over heels in love with you, as if you’re anything special.” Draco gave her a playful glare but it had no effect on her as she just stuck out her tongue before making her way through the long row of compartments. Most were filled with girls who all started squealing as he walked past. The quickly transferred to another carriage but without luck, all compartments seemed to be overflowing with fangirls and fanboys.

Finally they arrived in the last carriage and breathed in relief as there were no screaming girls or boys nor were there any pink shirts or records of ‘Love is in the air’ playing – carriage 5 had been a particularly tormenting one – no all just seemed normal. That was, of course, until a loud snore made the carriage shake – so to speak of course, no one, not even Hagrid can make a carriage shake by snoring mind you. Draco and Pansy cautiously shuffled closer to the compartment from which the loud noise was coming and as they reached the door, both pupils’ eyes grew large as they saw no one other than one very beggar-like looking Harry Potter sleeping on the floor of the last compartment, his mouth hanging open and catching flies so to speak.

“What do you think he’s doing here looking like that?” Pansy whispered, only to be shushed by a suddenly appearing Ron Weasley. He waved his hands in a ‘come over here’ motion before disappearing in the compartment next to Harry’s. Pansy gave Draco a questioning look, but Draco just shrugged and pointed his chin in the direction of the other compartment so to tell her to follow the Weasley.

It was with a lot of dread – not all of it unfounded, I assure you – that the two Slytherins entered the Gryffindor den, both armed with a wand and a good pair of brains – or at least that’s what they told themselves. In the compartment sat Ron Weasley together with a very worried looking Hermione Granger in front of an obviously very uninterested Ginny Weasley who was flipping through a quidditch magazine in a bored fashion. As soon as they entered the compartment though, her head shot up and nothing but hatred filled those grey eyes of hers.

“What are those snitches doing here?” She jumped up in order to intimidate the two ‘unwelcome’ guests with her height and she sure had grown a few inches over the summer, but Draco was still a little bit taller than her and he took a certain amount of pleasure out of towering over her, a smirk plastered on his face.

“Don’t, Ginny, I invited them,” Ron spoke, his voice sounded gruff from exhaustion. And what for? Draco wondered, it was not like his family had to suffer from anything – and then he remembered, Fred Weasley. He quietly nodded in Ron’s direction in a quiet apology.

“Why would you invite Death Eaters in our compartment when Harry is sleeping next to us, completely defenceless?!” Ginny shouted, her voice sounding shrill and desperate – and hopelessly pathetic if you were to ask Draco, which is probably why you should not ask Draco… - . Before Ron was capable of replying, Draco addressed the youngest Weasley with his usual sneer.

“Thank Merlin you discovered the genius plot of us Death Eaters, Miss Weasley! Just imagine us two Slytherins killing poor Saint Potter while on probation! I mean with all of our motives we would surely be stupid enough to kill the saviour of the wizarding world, right?!” Draco scoffed “Please give us some credit, Miss Weasley.” Ginny glared at him, but took her seat again nonetheless.

“We’re sorry, Malfoy, it’s just everyone is a bit on edge because of Harry-“ Hermione started, but was soon cut off by Ginny.

“No need to tell them everything!”

“Oh shut up, Ginny,” Ron grumbled.

“No she’s right Weasley, one should be very cautious with such truths as another person’s physical or mental state. If there is one thing that I have learnt from my father it is that a man must know when to keep his own secret, but most of all when to keep another person’s. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to look for an empty compartment for the remainder of the journey.” And with a slight nod in Ron’s direction he made his way out of the Gryffindor compartment, but not before muttering a soft “I hope Mr Potter gets better soon.” Underneath his breath.

 

As soon as they made it to another compartment, they sagged against one of the comfortable seats and closed their eyes, both lost in thought and mind.

“Why were you so polite to that Weasel, Dray?” Pansy muttered, he breath already slowing down and evening out. Draco huffed as he made himself a little bit more comfortable against Pansy’s warm body.

“Because he is Potter’s friend and Potter has saved my life. It’s basic etiquette Pans,” he mumbled softly before drifting off to dreamland. Pansy shifted her head against his shoulder once more before following him into a deep slumber while no one other than Harry Potter’s loud snoring still resonated against the thin walls of the carriage, keeping the other occupants of the carriage awake and on edge.


End file.
